After much thought, you decided to tell your husband that you want to get a divorce. How to inform the second half about the divorce, without destroying the relationship and not starting a total war?
There is no unequivocal answer to this question, but here are some tips on how to not exactly tell your spouse about breaking up.
Roll up a tantrum, start crying loudly, fighting and breaking dishes
Did you return home after a long hard day or did you find out that your beloved spouse is cheating on you? The best option is to immediately make all the complaints that have accumulated over the entire time of your life together, and loudly, with pathos to declare that you file for divorce. After all, think about your decision, give your husband time to accept it, discuss all the nuances and formalities - it is a waste of time.
Why can not this be done. Even if the spouse knows that there are problems in your marriage, he will most likely get upset after learning about the divorce. Your tantrums will seem to him to be attempts at revenge, or simply to arrange another scandal. In any case, your husband will not take this conversation seriously.
Consider the possibility of trial parting
When the scandal ends, your anger will subside, and your spouse will go to different rooms, after a while you can talk to him about the trial parting. It is best to comfort your spouse, giving him a "farewell night", while delivering both yourself and him an additional emotional pain and suffering.
Why can not this be done. If you are serious about divorce, your decision should be unequivocal. The husband may ask for a trial parting or ask if it is possible to start all over again. You should be prepared for such issues, and immediately after making a decision about a divorce, stop having sex with your spouse.
Immediately discuss all the details of the upcoming divorce.
You told your life partner you want to break up with him. Is he upset and depressed by your decision? It's time to discuss all the details of the divorce proceedings under the marriage contract! Tell him that you have already decided how you will share the property, with whom the children will remain. And also do not forget to add that it is ready to return the earrings donated for the wedding anniversary. Be sure that if he is shocked by such news, he will be able to listen carefully to your ardent monologue, then he will hate you for the rest of his life.
Why not do so. Such a conversation will not only prevent the husband from realizing and making your decision, but will also show him complete indifference to his feelings. Of course, if the topic of divorce has already been raised several times, you can start talking with him about the division of property and discuss the amount of alimony. If you know that this will be a shock for your man, it is better to postpone the discussion of the details.
Tell your husband about a divorce in a public place or by phone
If there is no more strength to endure and you want to immediately dot the i, the best solution would be not to pull with a painful conversation, but tell your spouse immediately about your feelings. No matter where you are - immediately start a difficult conversation, you can in a cafe, restaurant or while meeting with friends in nature. If the husband was not there, and you want to break the relationship once and for all immediately, you can do it online, send him an SMS or a message in the social network.
It is even better if such a message coincides with another unpleasant event in the life of your spouse. If you want to turn his life into hell, feel free to send an SMS with the text "I am divorcing you," especially if you know that he has fallen ill or has recently been dismissed from work.
Why not do so. Talking about divorce at the wrong time or in the wrong place will only worsen the already tense relations and significantly increase the chances of a scandal.
Say about the divorce to all friends and acquaintances, but hide it from her husband
Share the decision on divorce with all the friends, be sure to tell them about the shortcomings of your husband, for a long time and with good taste describe family problems to your colleagues and everyone who wants to hear it. After all, this way you will be able to save yourself from a difficult conversation - surely the husband will find out about your desire to get a divorce, not from you, but from someone else.
Why not do so. You must discuss the divorce with your spouse - it is he who should be the first to know about your intentions. Attracting other people to this will complicate the situation and make you look silly.
Your decision can be painful for a partner. You should know that a difficult conversation will have long-term consequences not only for him, but also for you and your children. Take your time, critically evaluate your words and actions, take into account the feelings of the people around you. And certainly do not follow the above harmful tips.